How to choose the best jeans for a man over fifty without looking like Chuck Norris

How to choose the best jeans for a man over fifty

I miss my 20s… or 30s for that matter. All you had to do was walk into a store, rifle a bit through the stack of jeans on the table or in those little wall cubicles, grab your size, walk to the checkout counter and you were done. There was a 95% chance that those jeans would fit perfectly and for the other 5%, they still fit pretty good. You were golden. It didn’t matter if you had just finished a 6-pack of Old Style and eaten an entire large pizza by yourself, your body didn’t change that much, so you knew those jeans were going to fit. But, it’s a completely different story now. Don’t worry, however, because Man Over Fifty is here to show you how to choose the best jeans for a man over fifty.

Oh, how things have changed

As the decades progressed, the margin of error for jean fitting has narrowed considerably and the percentage chance that you could just grab a pair of jeans that were “your size” and walk out the door has plummeted. Now, we could say that some of that is because even men’s clothes have fallen victim to the sizing scam that has plagued women’s clothing for so long. That is manufacturers purposely sizing mens clothes smaller to play to our egos. So that 34 inch waste pair of 501s you just grabbed are actually 36 inches. However, we know that isn’t entirely true. It may be true for some of those fancy man jeans that some older men wear to try and hang on to their fading youth, but for most basic jeans appear to be sized correctly. That leaves only one culprit… us! We’re just not “sized” the way we used to be.

didn’t Chuck Norris have some jeans like that way back when?

So, what can we do

Well, fortunately over the past 3 decades or so we have seen a lot more choices. Relaxed fit, loose fit, baggy fit, etc.. They have all been a blessing for the aging male. Unfortunately, as comfortable as some of them can be, they don’t always get a thumbs up from the ladies in our lives. Let me clarify that a bit… usually just one lady. The other ladies in our lives: moms, sisters, coworkers, friends, even ex-girlfriends… they could care less. It’s just the one lady. However, you still want to be comfortable. I, for one, hate tight clothing. The older I get, the more uncomfortable it is. Give me a baggy pair of pants any day. So, what do you do?

How to choose the best jeans for a man over fifty

It’s simple. It’s the stretch jean. I know, I know… didn’t Chuck Norris have some jeans like that way back when? Yes, he did. And didn’t people make fun of them way back when? Yes, they did. However, what I’m talking about isn’t them. There are many on the market, but I’ve recently tried some Wrangler Midweight Stretch Jeans. Twenty bucks at Walmart. I got the relaxed fit (typically buy loose fit) and they were great. They have a 80/20 Cotton/Polyester blend, so that extra stretch compensates for the tighter, relaxed fit. Give them a try. You won’t look like a hipster, but you also won’t look like Chuck Norris either.

Let’s face it,  for most of us our days of buying Levi’s 501s off the rack are over. Some Levi stores now have these custom machines that analyze your body, take measurements to which custom jeans are created just for you. However, who has or wants to drop $300 on a pair of jeans. Hell, they won’t even have fancy bejeweled pockets! So, unless you have managed to remain super skinny and can still fit into skinny jeans, ala Mick Jagger, the stretch jeans are a great way to not look like a slob and still be comfortable. By the way, even if you can fit in skinny jeans, you shouldn’t. It’s not a good look for a man over fifty… Mick Jagger and Chuck Norris included.